Is that luck? Or something else? When I quit my job more than two years ago, I had all the time in the world, but just a vague idea what will I do next. What is my purpose? I spent a year of inner search. I just let me be and learned to hear the hum of my heart. I stumbled upon a big biography book about Verdi. It was written by Mary Jane Phillips-Matz, amazing woman, mother of five, who spent 30 years to research and write her magnum opus. She even spent her summers in Verdi’s hometown of Bussetto. I felt that’s something I’m made for. To have a subject that has a penetrating meaning to me and gives more meaning to everything else. True passion that you can’t fake for long.
People are different. There are sprinters and marathon runners. I wrote in my diary with a thirst for an answer: “What is my Verdi?” I’m lucky that eventually I heard the salty beats of my heart and found the sea. There are so many beautiful encounters on this journey. Yesterday we visited museum and saw an amazing artwork by Latvian artist Voldemars Johansons called Thirst. A video projection of a sea in a raging storm with an accompanying blasting sound. I could sit in that room forever. A symphony of the sea. Mesmerizing.
P.S. When I went to bed yesterday, I read a few more pages of Virginia Woolf’s “To the Lighthouse”. Found one beautiful quote about love, that could be said about true passion as well. My world has changed ever since I found “my Verdi”.
“They became part of that unreal but penetrating and exciting universe which is the world seen through the eyes of love . The sky stuck to them; the birds sang through them.”
Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse, 1927